It’s truly a beautiful thing when you can see, taste, feel the happiness in life once more. When you finally climb out of the dark hole you’ve been in and reach the sunlight. When you can say i fucking did it. And you can feel it. Its a beautiful thing When you see a sunset, and instead of feeling empty, you feel alive. When you can hear an old song, and instead of wanting to cry, you can smile. You can enjoy it. It’s so beautiful to realize the incredible people in your life. And all you wanna do is take off and run into an endless field. Or blast your favorite song and really sing it with the windows rolled down all the way. Or dance your heart out in the heat of the summer with the person you love the most. When you can look in the mirror and feel alive. It’s a beautiful thing to embrace your amazing life, and fucking enjoy it. It’s a beautiful thing and it’s obtainable for anyone. Its a beautiful thing to be happy again.
it’s been a year. a year ago today you kissed me. for the first time. we knew it was bound to happen. there were boys before then, there were boys after then too. and never have i felt what i felt with you in that moment. when you see two people kiss in movies and tv shows in cliche firework scenes, and it’s so magical and beautiful. that’s what i felt with you.even though we were sitting in a small living room. on a shitty burgundy couch. i felt as if i was in the most beautiful place, in the most purely graceful state, ever. i’ve never felt anything like that since. it’s been a year. and i can’t lie. it still hurts me every night. i lay here every damn night and wish things were different. i analyze it all and try to pinpoint exactly where i went wrong. i cry too. i cry because i can’t change anything. i can’t go back. and that kills me. it’s been a year. and i think i’m slowly getting over you. emphasis on slowly. but surely. i’m not sure if i’ll ever fall out of love with you. it’s been a year. the memories flash back to me every once in a while and they make the pit of my stomach ache. they eat me alive. they swell my mind. those times are the hardest. i have to bring myself back down once i’m in a phase and it’s exhausting. you have no idea what you’ve done to me the last year. you bring me to my absolute highest highs, and lowest lows. you’re still the only one who can do that. i remember it all. and i wonder every single day if you do too. it’s been a year. and maybe someday you’ll be out somewhere. and you’ll smell something. or maybe hear a song. and maybe it’ll remind you of me. and you’ll remember it all. and i hope you think about me and wish things were different, that you didn’t leave. but for now all i have is memories and an aching heart. all of it kills me. it’s the source of my sadness. but at the same time. i’m the luckiest girl in the world for feeling what you made me feel. i will always remember how you made me feel. in that moment. and in every moment i was with you. even when we were apart. it’s been a whole year. and i’m moving on. but i will never forget.
